My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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