I got chris browned last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
