My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize