P.S. I can't hear my feet
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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