Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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