are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
