i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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