Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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