Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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