I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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