I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
