i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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