the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize