She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
