I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
