I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm too high and old for this...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
