you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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