Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
