I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate