Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
