it hurts more in the daytime
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
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It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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