Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
