hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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