i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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