i don't like sucking hair
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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