i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I am one with the molecules
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
