Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
