We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize