Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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