At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
