Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Welp...herpes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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