I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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