i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
