so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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