it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
