I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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