I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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