Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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