Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
