We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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