I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize