the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
