If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
