I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
