The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
