Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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