How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
