What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
