He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
