Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
