sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
