Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
