You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
